Some days i just want to quit. Give it all up and just walk away. It would be so much easier… I could have a life, spend more time with my loved ones, take my dog to the park more often, do things for ME.
When people find out that I have a full-time job ON TOP of photography, I often get a bewildered look, followed with a “seriously?? How do you do it?!” or the very common “are you insane??”. The answers to those questions are “I just do” and “probably, most days”.
The truth is, I work really hard. A lot.
Monday through Friday I wake up at 630ish, head to work at my day-job, where I am an Art Director/Graphic Designer/Marketing Assistant for 8+ hours. Then I come home, figure out what we’re doing for dinner, eat, and then hop on the computer and start working the night away- catching up on social media, editing, packaging client orders, placing print orders, and on rare occasion working on marketing materials for myself… however that always seems to get the short end of the stick. I stay awake, working by computer- glare until around 11pm-1am, then pry myself off of the computer to go to bed so I can wake up and do it all over again. Weekends are generally filled with photo shoots, commitments with family and friends, and hopefully taking my dog to the park. Also more editing, networking, and catching up on blog posts (which I need to work on!), editing, culling, more editing, and sometimes a little shopping 🙂
It’s a busy life, and sometimes, I literally stop and ask myself WHHYYYYYYY???? I don’t like not getting enough sleep, or spending enough time with my boyfriend and pup, or ALWAYS being busy. But it’s what I do. Partially because I think it’s in my blood, partially because i’m a crazy work-a-holic, and mostly because in order to do what I love, it’s what must be done.
Regardless of how much I want to scream, cry, kick and scream and quit sometimes, I don’t think that’s even a realistic possibility for me. I love it too much. Scheduling “days off” for myself is a normal thing for me. I don’t remember what being bored feels like, and my favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations.
But it is a labor of love.
I know that while it seems like I am killing myself now, I am sowing a seed for the future. I am building my business, so that one day, when the time is right, I can focus solely on what is most important to me, what feeds my soul. I will have more time for loved ones and doing things I want to do, like travel more, read books, relax, and grow my business.
I am so thankful to have such a supportive, understanding man to call my own. He is ever-patient with my crazy schedule, and always supportive of me and my ideas/endeavors, no matter how crazy they may seem. He never gives me a hard time about not spending enough time with him, and always offers words of encouragement when I am feeling down. He believes in me, and I couldn’t ask for more than that.
So even though some days I’d rather throw my arms in the air and say “forget it!”, I just learn to take breaks. It can wait until tomorrow. Or the weekend. Part of being successful in anything you do is taking care of yourself. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s better to just take the night off, not worry about everything, and try again tomorrow. I think I deserve it, and I know it helps.
I could never quit. I don’t know how, and I wouldn’t want to.
“On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.”
“In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins- not through strength but by perseverance.”
– H. Jackson Brown
“People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don’t know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to.”
– George E. Allen